


Pickup Lines

by EmilisBack



Series: Victuuri One Shots [5]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pick-Up Lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 02:05:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8949460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilisBack/pseuds/EmilisBack
Summary: Victor collects pickup lines to use on Yuuri.





	

"Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you have a pretty sweet ass."

Sighing, Yuuri turned around, frown on his face. It wan't a rare thing for people to hit on him, he was a bartender after all, and mot seemed to think that if they played their cards right, they could get a free drink. That combined with Yuuri's slicked back brown hair and slender frame made cheesy and-more often than not-highly inappropriate pick up lines common.

When he turned to find a tall, grey haired man with shining blue eyes-still fixated on what seemed to be Yuuri's ass-he actually let out a small gasp in surprise. "Hey, Victor. I haven't seen you in a while. Feels like a year. Or two."

"Hmm, I know. It's been so long," Victor sighs, coming to sit on the stool in front of Yuuri's position behind the bar. "I haven't been able to come due to work."

"For two years?"

"I mean, technically one and a half, but yeah. There was this huge expansion in the company and I had to live out of the country for a bit."

Yuuri nodded, deciding it wan't his place to question Victor. They had only ever been costumer and server after all. "Can I get you something to drink, or do you wanna wait a bit?"

"I'll just have a coke for now, thanks. Hey, guess what?"

Victor was wearing a smirk-his trademark smirk. The one he had always wore before he said before an awful pick up line that Yuuri couldn't help but find enduring. Damn him and his weak heart. Giving up any hope that he could save himself from what what about to happen, he accepted his fate and amused Victor. "What?"

"If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable."

Yuuri took a moment to get the joke, but after he did, he cracked up. "That has got to be the worst you have ever told, by far. Where do you even come up with these things?"

Victor smiled along, shrugging a bit in embarrassment. "Well, after not seeing you in so long, I was able to fill up my notepad with all the random ones I heard."

"Notepad?"

"Yeah, um..." Victor ears reddened, voice quieting. "You know, my notepad."

Yuuri's brown eyes were shining with laughter as he shook his head, small pieces of his hair coming un-gelled and falling in his face. "What notepad?"

"You know, my notepad."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Yuuri continues to laugh.

Victor shook his head. "The notepad full of pickup lines I want to use on you. Because you agreed once I found one you've never heard before you would go on a date with me."

Now Yuuri shook his head. "What?"

"I never told you about the notepad, did I?" Victor gasped.

"Notepad? You never told me about the date!"

Victor went quiet, eyes slowly widening as he realized what was happening. "Shit," he mumbled, "I never actually asked you about that deal, did I? Fuck, I-I... God this is awkward."

"You think," Yuuri laughed, though it was a bit to dull to be real. They continued to stare at each other in awkward silence before Yuuri was called over to serve someone else. Before leaving, he turned to Victor. "Hey, would you be okay waiting here for half an hour more? My shift will end then, and I need to talk to you."

"Yeah, yeah," Victor nodded, "of course. I'll be over there. Playing pool or whatever." He gave an awkward chuckle and wave before taking his drink and heading off in the direction he had previously motioned towards.

"Okay," the brunet mumbled to himself, turning to his new costumer.

/ /

Just over half an hour later, and Yuuri's shift was done. Sighing, he quickly signed out of work, changing his clothes and heading towards the pool tables in the corner. Before he could see Victor, he heard his voice shouting over the others.

"Hey Yuuri! Did you just come out of the oven? because you're hot!"

Letting out a sigh and a laugh all in one breath, he narrowed in on the voice, finding sparkling blue eyes staring at him. He made his way through the crowed slowly, mumbling apologies and a few curse words when people wouldn't move.

Once he was finally in front of Victor, he gave him a huge grin. "Hey." Victor offered his own greeting, and Yuuri's smile grew. "Do you mind if we talk somewhere quieter for a bit? There's a break room in the back I'm sure no one would mind if we used."

Victor agreed, excusing himself from the people he had gotten into a conversation with before following the other to the break room. Once there, Yuuri shut the door, making sure no one was in the room with them before he began.

"What exactly were you talking about before? With the whole 'date' thing?"

"Hmm. It's been something I had been meaning to ask you about since before I left, way back when we met, really. I noticed that people would hit on you often, so I thought to myself, 'If I can come up with a pickup line that he's never heard before, maybe he'd be willing to go on a date with me.' I suppose, however, that I never really got around to actually asking you about that considering how confused you were about the entire deal." He gave an awkward chuckle as he finished his short explanation, running a hand though his hair before rubbing the back of his neck.

"That makes a bit more sense, although your logic is kind of flawed if you ask me..."

"Kind of?" This comes from a new voice, one that both men recognize all too well. They turn to see the other Yuri glaring at the two of them, green eyes seeming to pierce straight through them. He he flips his long blond hair out of his face, scoffing some more. "If you ask me, that's extremely flawed logic."

"Don't mock me!" Victor gasped, hand flying over his heart.

"I wasn't mocking you! This is mocking you." He straightened himself to make his short frame as tall as possible, before letting out a whine. "Oh, I'm Victor Nikiforov, ad I like to drink more than I can handle and then star stripping in the middle of the bar! Then I'll start to hit on my not-so-secret secret crush Yuuri while he's trying to work! Maybe if I can come up with an original pick up line he's never heard of, he'll agree to go on a date with me and we can get married and have a million babies together, because fuck science and biology!"

"You little shit!" Victor screeched, reaching out to grab the other, only to be stopped by the Japanese man holding him back. "What the hell are you even doing here? You're still not legally allowed to be in here!"

"Minako likes me and so I come and visit her, obviously."

"Yes. Yurio comes and visits Minako often. Which is what he was about to go and do now, right?" Yuuri gives him a tight-lipped smile, face screaming for the uninvited guest to leave.

"Yeah, whatever," he mumbles, getting the clue and leaving. Once he's gone, Yuuri turned back to the other Russian, apology written on his face.

"Yurio is... he's great, you know, but he get's his moods."

Victor hummed in agreement, a silence falling between them as both become unsure of what to say. Finally, Victor decided it was time to put two years of collecting pick up lines to use. "Something must be wrong with my eyes."

Yuuri looks up in concern, reaching to touch the grey haired males face. "What? What's wrong?"

"I can't take them off of you."

Yuuri's hand paused in the air, face worried look dropping. "Oh god," he whispered, covering his face with his hand. "You have got to be kidding me..."

"What? That was a good one," Victor pouted, pulling Yuuri's hands away from his face. "Come on, that one was great!"

"Here I was," Yuuri mumbled, staring up at victor, "showing genuine concern for you, and you were just being a little shit."

"Can I be your little shit?"

"Hmm. If you can come up with a pickup line to my standards I might consider that." Yuuri's grin was mischievous, causing Victor to hesitate on agreeing.

"What's the catch?"

"No catch. Just give me an impressive pick up line."

Victor agreed despite still doubting whether or not Yuuri had a catch to go with his game. "Alright, I got a good one."

"Fire away."

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?" Two groans came in reply, one from the man in front of him and one from behind the door. 

"This isn't even your first time meeting, first of all, and secondly, who even uses that anymore? It's so old."

"I actually wasn't asking for your opinion," Victor barked, "Now you can either get in here and be quiet, or leave." There were the sounds of footsteps leaving, and after a few minutes, Victor began again.

"Is there a cellphone in your back pocket? Because your ass is calling me. Can you touch me? I wanna tell my friends I've been touched by an angel. Do you have a name or can I call you mine? My mom thinks I'm gay, wanna help me prove her wrong?" Victor smirked, waiting for some sign of approval.

"Victor, two things. First, we are both men, so that last one doesn't work, second, if you want to go out with me, you're gonna have to do better than that."

"I know, I know. Do you know how hard it is to concentrate when you're sitting in front of me all god like and beautiful?"

Yuuri smiled at that, nodding his head. "That was by far the best one."

"What? That wasn't even one of my lines!"

"Exactly. Natural and sweet, not to mention original. Just like you."

Victor smiled, biting his bottom lip. "That was sweet."

"Thanks, I try. Now if you don't mind, I would like to go get some late night coffee with you."

the Russian man hummed, nodding his head. "Yeah, that sounds like fun."

**Author's Note:**

> Requests are welcomed.


End file.
